I think as humans we all seem to have a bit of a crutch that we can tend to lean on. For Jesse it was a sense of security. For me it was a craving to control everything. We have reached a point in our lives where we feel like we are pretty secure, and have a pretty good handle on things for the time being. And for that reason, we decided to stop at two kids and live comfortably for as long as possible. But God has been working in our hearts.
In June 2012 Jesse read the book
“Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. Through
that book God showed him that security and comfort are both well and good,
but not a worthy investment for the kingdom of heaven. We are called to help those less fortunate
than us. We are to have hearts of
compassion, and bless others with what God has entrusted us.
This past summer I felt God challenging me to let go of my fear to lose control, and honestly ask Him how He can use my life. For me this has been a
process of letting the Holy Spirit show me to give up control to God one step at a
time, moving closer to Him all the while.
And I am finding that the more control I give up, the more I want God to
take control. And prayers for the Holy Spirit's guidance, have led to an amazing and exciting request.
Mid
August 2012 Jesse and I watched a movie about a missionary who opened a refugee
orphanage in Sudan. The images and the
reality of what is happening there haunted us.
And so we began to pray for God to show
us how we could help. If you pray enough for God to let you know what He wants from you...He will let you know! ”What if we adopted?," popped out of my mouth. Jesse and I
have talked about adoption before, but in more of a, "I could see us doing that someday" kind of way. So this was not a completely crazy response, and
we left it as something we would pray about. At that time Jesse had made it clear that he was thinking 10+ years down the road.
And so we
began to think and pray about it, but didn’t really talk about it after that. As
I prayed I began to feel more and more like God was putting it on my heart to
adopt sooner rather than later. I
attended a Women of Faith conference at the end of September and came home
feeling certain about this. I needed to know where Jesse was with this,
so one evening I just asked him, “What age kid do you think we should adopt, and
how soon are you thinking?” His response
was 1-5 years old, and within the next 5 years.
I was amazed that without having previously discussed this we were in
the same frame of mind about it. And the
more we prayed and thought about it, the more certain we both were that this is
what God has planned for us, and this is what he is asking of our lives.
So here
we are. Each of us has been growing so
much closer to God in the past year, and while this has looked so much
different for each of us, it has lead us to the same place. God has shown Jesse that living your life to
the fullest for God means leaving your security in His hands, and using His
blessings to care for "the least of these."
And I am giving the Holy Spirit room to move my life. He has asked me to begin a process that I
really won’t be able to control, and I am finding that it is drawing me closer
to God every day. We couldn’t be more
excited to begin the adoption process.
This is our mission and we are ready.
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